Now I'm 22...

As Theodore Roosevelt allegedly said, "Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you have to start young." Recently, there have been a number of articles circulating LinkedIn, covering the topic "If I were 22...", written by various successful business men and women at the height of their careers. These articles ask what advice they would give to their 22- year old self - if they could go back and live life over again.

I have six weeks left of being 22. And whilst reading their collection of articles it made me wonder if I had lived up to this now middle-aged conception that 22 is " the best seat in the house"1. Have I accomplished all that I thought I would have done by 22? Do I have any regrets?

Well, the start of my year went well. I had a job offer before I had left university and had even moved into a house with a friend. Better yet, it was a job that was something I was deeply passionate about; helping offenders with learning difficulties. Richard Branson made the point in his article that "if you don't really love what you're doing, you won't succeed".

However, I soon found the job to be a dead end, no matter how much I cared for the patients. I realised I wanted the opportunity to learn in my role, and not, as Jwala Vedantam explained, "see the immediate job as the ultimate destination".

Which takes me to another of the points raised in the articles; " if you want to travel, don't wait" 2. I didn't. That is one of the things I am happiest about when I compare myself to my friends. Teaching, working, and travelling for 3 months out on a graduate placement in Sri Lanka was definitely the definition of work hard, play hard. I had the time of my life out there, and came back with a much clearer idea of what I wanted to do next.

However, even though I have spent 9 months of my year working in various roles that have been developing my career, it has been the past 6 weeks that have tested me most. Coming home from having 'the time of my life', to unemployment and back living with my parents. Just like Greg James describes in his parody of Taylor Swift's song, "22", my life suddenly went from being " happy and free", to where I'm "sad, skint, confused, and lonely at the same time"!

It's not that I'm regretting any decisions that I've made this year. If I hadn't quit my job at the hospital I wouldn't have been able to accept the graduate scheme in Sri Lanka. When I ask myself what I wish I could have done, there is actually very little I can answer with. This year has been a very productive one. Maybe I should have travelled a little while longer? Maybe I should stop worrying about money and go to the summertime ball with my friends? Maybe tomorrow will be the day..?

But if we're serious for a minute, when reading these articles I don't think there are many pointers on them that I have not followed. Just like Taylor Swift's song, I seem to stay up most nights dreaming imaginatively of what my life could be like, but, as Tim Westergren says, there have been very few nights I have lain awake thinking "I wish I'd never done that..".

In a few weeks I will be 23, and as of this moment, I am unemployed. However, after reading those articles and writing this, I realise this is not the end of the world - just yet. I am most definitely guilty of worrying too much about the future rather than focusing on the present. After writing this, I must count my blessings and remember that "age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter" 3.


1. Jwala Vedantam
2. Joy Johnston
3. Mark Twain

Ceylon Farewell!

Three weeks ago, I was in a different country, surrounded by different people, and in a different time zone completely, saying my goodbyes to what had been an incredible three months working out in Sri Lanka. I had been accepted onto a graduate placement working for SLVolunteers; a charity based out in Sri Lanka giving graduates the opportunity to have degree specific placements including English teaching, coaching, sports, and those like me who are interested in working in the mental health sector.

For those twelve weeks I was immersed in a completely different world; learing a new language, (well, attempting to!) Learning about their way of life, and learning to love incredibly spicy curries! There were roughly 100 graduates selected, each staying in various homes around Colombo, and each were given an individual timetable of assorted projects to work on for the three months that we were there.

I would spend time at a special needs home for men, running activities, games, and arts and crafts with them, then spend the afternoon teaching basic English to some children from around the community. Another day would see me teaching much more advanced English to some factory workers in the hope that improving their English would one day lead to a promotion.

Wednesday was a day dedicated to psychology, so every week we worked at two mental health hospitals, working in a different ward each week, hoping that merely our presence would help bring a smile to their faces. We got them to draw, sing, play ball games, make bracelets, anything we could think of to get the patients to interact with each other. We even played a few rounds of bingo!

Another part of my week would be to help run (along with the help of six other graduates) a sports and crafts therapy session at a special needs home for boys with learning difficulties, down's syndrome, and many other conditions. We had them doing various individual exercises, such as circuits and stretches to help not only with strength but memory, along with team games and songs. They particularly enjoyed learning the "penguin song" having to jump up and down like a penguin during the song!

A final project I was given was to work in a children's home. All the children there are orphans for various reasons, and we were there to work, not only on the children's English, but on their behaviour. Growing up in a children's home, these children have to be taught skills that for those of us who are lucky enough to be brought up in loving families, come naturally to us. When growing up with surrounded by peers, you look to those around you to learn from.

Along with these projects, we were lucky enough to receive lectures from Samutthana, a group of clinical psychologists who came over from King's College London to talk to us about various topics including counselling, meditation, and therapy. One particular workshop that stood out in my mind was an art therapy workshop where we were taught simple art therapy techniques, and at the end we were presented with a huge piece of paper on the floor. All of us were designated a different section of the tree to draw and I was given the part that included the owl! Unfortunately, due to my lack of drawing skills it looked more like a squished koala, nevertheless, as our lecturer, and thousands of cheesy sales lines tell us; it's the taking part!

So, here I am, three weeks later, sitting listening to the rain drum down on the roof of the house. It's the heaviest rain we've had since I've returned home, yet all I can do is compare it to when the skies would light up for miles around everytime lightning would hit. Even taking the London tubes at rush hour jolts me back to how squished I felt on every bus journey, wondering today it would be my turn to have somebody fall on my lap when we swerved around a corner.

Getting back into daily life was both unnervingly hard and yet surprisingly easy at the same time. The day after I flew home, I slept until 11, then went downstairs in my pyjamas and grabbed a bowl of cereal, none of which I would have been able to do out there. And yet, for the first ten days back home, my life was riddled with jet lag, boredom, and a sense of loneliness, at the adventure my life had suddenly lost. Job hunting and meeting up with friends is finally sucking me back into some sort of a resemblance of a life, but what I'm trying to state is just how much I've had to adjust back after learning so much and not being able go transfer those skills straightg away. It's given me a severe case of itchy feet! Let's hope my next project isn't too far away!

A Quarter-life crisis?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." That quote, said by Henry David Thoreau, is the reason why I have started this blog. A year ago, as I was meticulously planning every detail of my dissertation, I had a plan. Unlike the majority of my university friends, I knew exactly what field of work I wanted to travel into, and had done for a while. Ever since I was fourteen I had been fascinated by the inner workings of criminal minds, trying to work out why they do what they do. However, having volunteered for many years for teenagers with speech and language impairments, my interest soon spread to offenders with learning disabilities, and what it meant when they were incarcerated for their crimes. 

So here I am, five months after my graduation, and I've luckily managed to dodge the statistic and become employed straight out of university, not only into a job, but one in my field of interest. I am a 22 year old psychology graduate working in a hospital for offenders with a primary diagnosis of language difficulties.

Nevertheless, six months into my first job and I'm already asking myself some pretty big questions. I've heard that these quarter-life crisis' are quite "in" at the moment, and, whilst talking to my friends about this a few of them feel the same about their jobs. However, many of them are saying mainly "I can't believe this is it for the rest of my life". I believe they are referring to the fact that this adult lifestyle isn't all it's cracked up to be, getting up and going to the same job every day, day in and day out, no matter how passionate you are about it. 

To understand my self-prescribed ‘quarter-life crisis’, I should first explain my new job. My official role at this hospital is a “support worker”, which really means, a lot of long hours doing a lot of paperwork and making a lot of tea. Occasionally, something else might happen that will spice the day up a bit… I might even be able to take a patient out shopping or play a game of Jenga. However, most of the time, the most stressful part of the day is trying to cook three different meals for eleven people, at the same time. Believe me, after coming straight out of university, I don’t think anyone on my ward was expecting a meal like mine..!

You may be reading this thinking that this is the perfect job, especially for a recent graduate, however, I have been here for six months now and for someone who has a lot of ambitions in life, I have found this job to be one that draws you in and keeps you there. Many there have been doing the same job as me for over a decade, some only now receiving a promotion. But, for many there, that is their perfect job, with the long shifts and long holidays the perfect format for their lives.

However, going back to the quote at the beginning, and my reason for going into this profession in the first place, I believe my “crisis” is stemming from the fact that all decisions in this place are made pain-stakingly slowly. This in turn causes different parts of the company to lose faith in each other, which in turn causes more problems. The entire company is incredibly cliquey, with each part of the hospital sticking up for each other when another comes calling (not surprisingly), however, the only people to really lose out from all of this tiddle taddling are the patients themselves, whose rehabilitation is put back even further when something like this happens.

My “dream”, was to become a psychologist and help in the rehabilitation of offenders with learning difficulties. However, after seeing first hand just how slow the psychology process is to helping those get to rehabilitation, maybe my dream will have to change…